Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts

Monday, October 22, 2012

WOMEN'S HALLOWEEN COSTUMES: NON-SEXY NEED NOT APPLY

 For most horror fanatics, Halloween is the most exciting part of our entire year.  For one night, it becomes socially acceptable for us to show off our nerd prowess without fear of judgement.  Now, of course I understand that we are all proud of our geekery year round, but the general populous is less likely to look down upon us around the witching hour.  It also shouldn't matter what the general public has to say about us, but for the sake of argument, let us all just accept the fact that we're more welcome to be spooky this time of year in contrast to say, Easter.  Moving on.  Halloween is a time of tricks, treats, and dressing up as whoever or whatever we please.  The weird thing, is that for women, we are forced to be whatever or whoever we please...within a very specific constraint.  Provocative. Before I even get into this argument, know that I am a HUGE advocate against Slut-Shaming.  If someone wants to dress a certain way, more power to them, this argument is not against women who choose to dress provocatively, it is an argument against perpetuating objectification for no other reason than to excuse objectification with a holiday "tradition".

Without divulging into the history of Halloween and all that jazz, in the western world it is generally accepted as a time of year where individuals dress up in costumes, throw parties, carve pumpkins, and eat an unmeasurable amount of sugar.  Costumes can range from common professions, beloved characters, super heroes, monsters, and of course, sexual fantasies.  Over the past few years, an unsettling trend of women's costumes has grown to a near epidemic status.  It would appear that for a woman to have a socially acceptable Halloween costume, she must wear one in a manner as provocative as humanly possible.  Again, let me emphasize that I have no issue with what a woman chooses to or to not wear.  However, when I walk into a Halloween costume emporium and have to choose between something baring my midriff, something baring my chest, or something so short I'd show my whispering eye if I sneezed, that is a sign of a problem.  The issue here isn't that women are dressing provocatively, the issue is that it would appear that highly sexualized costumes are our only option.  Perhaps worse is the fact that this idea has been so engrained into our skulls, women are starting to believe that it really is our only option.  Are there exceptions to this rule? Of course.  Unfortunately, exceptions are in the vast minority.  
It is true that men and women's clothing must be tailored differently simply because we're built differently. (See: Boobs and Hips)  However, please look at this photo above.  The costume to the left is a familiar Michael Myers costume inspired by the Halloween series.  The costume to the right?  The female version of the same costume.  Seriously. That's supposed to be a Michael Myers costume.  If you look, you'll notice an absence of a mask, a tighter fitting form, a more revealing top towards the breasts, and a set of "fuck-me" pumps.  I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure Laurie Strode could have knocked the block off of "Michelle Myers".  The first image showcased in this article is the increasingly popular "Mrs. Krueger" costume, the female counterpart of Freddy.  I will admit that this is a costume that particularly tickles my fancy, but seriously...Freddy wore pants.  Freddy also had a face burned to all Holy Hell.  Of course, the woman couldn't have burns though, no.  Then no one would want to get her in the sack.

Perhaps the most alarming aspect of women's Halloween costume is how early the sexualization begins.  I won't even post some of the ridiculous things posted about children's costuming, but please read above the description of a "teen" costume.  Teen as in "more than likely too young to consent to sex".  The description says "...whimsical and girly but you are all grown up now so why not find out if big boys like to play with dolls!" Um. What? This sounds like something out of a kiddie-porn chat session. Remember, this costume is geared towards girls between the ages of 13-18, geared towards women who can't vote or in some instances drive or see an R-Rated movie without the help of mom and dad...AND THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE THAT SEXY!? The most screwed up part about all of this is that we are still living in a country where lawyers will ask rape victims what they were wearing and yet women are still expected to dress like this on Halloween.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I'll admit that I'm guilty of dressing "slutty" on Halloween. I always do. I'm 22 years old and I am at college. However, instead of being a half naked "insert profession or object or character" here, I find a way to show of my horror chops as well.  Since starting college I've been a female Ash (complete with chainsaw arm), a Silent Hill nurse, a broken doll, and this year I'll be going as Laurie from Trick R Treat.  All of these costumes, I've had to make myself.  Why? Because not only is it next to impossible to find horror nerd costumes for a girl that aren't the ones featured above,but to find a costume in plus size? Get outta here...

"BUT MEN ARE OBJECTIFIED TOO!" You may cry. No. No they are not. Stop right there. You're wrong. Yes, there will be some skimpy and/or tight fitting costumes here and there, but NOT many.  Seriously, I could count on my fingers how many "sexualized" male costumes there were.  Hell, even the ones that are there are clearly for the empowerment of the man and not for the female gaze. The “sexy” costumes will either be ridiculously jokey with some sort of visual reference to a penis on the exterior of the costume, OR nothing special. Many of the "sexy" male costumes are just different colored boxers, sometimes with a set of suspenders.  The costume to the right is meant to be funny.  There's a reason the "Dick In A Box" video got so many hits, and it's not because it was sexually appealing to see Andy Sandburg gift wrap his johnson.  Of course I'm not saying that men aren't objectified at times, but in the world of Halloween costumes, men can do whatever they want, but if a woman doesn't dress completely risque, she's "doing it wrong".  This is a huge problem and unfortunately, because we keep dishing out the dough for these costumes, it's a problem that isn't going to be resolved anytime soon.

I cannot stress again that I have no qualms with women who decide to dress sexy for Halloween, I do it, I love to do it. It makes me feel good about myself. The problem is that women aren't allowed to make that decision.  Dressing sexy is our only option. Unless we make a costume by hand or forego the costumes all together and wear street clothes, women are forced to pick through the aisles of costumes with hemlines growing shorter and tops squeezing tighter.  We need options, we need choices, and unfortunately for us, the only decisions we get to make in Halloween costume selection is whether or not we're showing leg or breast this season.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

BELIEVE IT OR NOT: THE BUCKEYE BRINGS THE HORROR

I will be the first one to admit that I'm a self-proclaimed Chicago snob. I firmly believe that Chicago, Illinois is the greatest city in the United States and would defend it until I'm Cubbie Blue in the face.  Recent events, however, have forced me to contemplate leaving the Windy City and replanting some roots in the Buckeye State.  This past weekend was my first real dive into the Cleveland horror scene and I have to say, it's a pretty incestuously wonderful place to be.  I spent the weekend crashing at the pad of horror enthusiast (and DotW favorite), Zach Shildwachter.  I don't have any pictures of it, but trust me when I say his place is a fankid's dream home.  One of the major things that attracts me to a city and its film scene has to do with the accessibility of finding them.  I've been to my fair share of Record Exchanges, but the Cleveland Record Exchange was massive.  Unrealistically massive.  Without the insane price markups of Cook County, IL, the two of us were able to nab quite a huge haul of films.

As the two of us debated on what should have been included on the Roger Corman collection, we were approached by a worker who was willing to discuss god-awful horror movies with us.  He generated a very welcoming atmosphere and it was nice to find solace with someone who understood why we found Shadowzone to be a worthy purchase amongst an entire store full of people looking to pawn off their rejected Tyler Perry collections. The following day was a real treat as we were joined by The Blood Sprayer's founder Wes Allen, his beautiful wife, and adorable spawn.  The first half of the visit was spent debating horror movies, discussing the awesome people in the horror blogosphere, and a mask fashion show led by Zach and Mini-Allen.  Living at home with my parents when I'm not away at school has been extremely difficult on having some quality horror bonding time.  The Allen clan didn't come over just for shits and gigs, we had far more interesting plans ahead of us.

In order to properly prepare for the evening ahead, we needed to transform out of our normal flesh suits and into something a bit more undead.  Thanks to Zach Shildwachter's incredible knack for special effects makeup and a love of all things zombie, he was able to transform four adults into four very different and contrasting in progression zombies.  He started with Wes who dons a beard of epic proportions, giving a little less room of flesh to work with.  Zach did such a great job, many of Wes' facebook comments on the picture included people asking what the hell happened to him.  Wes' wife Ashley was given a zombie bite beginning to mutate her skin, I was given a simple and classic hollowed out look, and Zach donned some contacts and black blood --his most recent obsession.  The looks we received on the way to the event, priceless.

The reason for all of the zombie makeup?  OldSchool Sinema's Zombie Bowling, of course!  From what I have been gathering, OldSchool Sinema is the major distributor of all of the zombie-centric events around the greater Cleveland area.  Home of the best in NEW exploitation/grindhouse/horror/B-Movie/
cult/underground cinema, host of the Cleveland charity ZOMBIE WALK (every spring and fall), and of the Sinema Sirens (Pin-ups, scream queens), Oldschool Sinema is growing bigger and stronger.  The crew rented out the basement level of Mahalls 20 Lanes, and for 10 dollars we were treated to unlimited bowling.  Zombies and Toys was there to provide plenty of zombie collectibles for purchase and tons fun memorabilia.  There was also alcohol and surprisingly wonderful grub.

The main reason I trekked out to Ohio was actually to enjoy the world premiere of the short film I AM ALIVE by J Buckner.  (Review will come tomorrow!)  The film was shown along with a handful of other shorts that The Studio On Mars productions have come up with and held the event at the outstanding venue, The Beachland Ballroom and Tavern.  The turn out was massive and it just goes to show what a strong support system the Cleveland film scene has.  The author of the story in which the short film was based off of even drove up from Omaha, Nebraska to see the film.  I was very impressed with the set up and more impressed with the environment than anything.  Everyone at the event was wanting to be there and better yet, was excited to be there.

All and all, maybe Hawthorne Heights had it right.
Ohio is totally for lovers.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

IT'S BJ-C'S BIRTHDAY!!!!



LET'S ALL WATCH HORROR MOVIES, 
EAT PIZZA, DRINK BOOZE, AND 
KISS FACES!!!


Friday, May 11, 2012

YOU LIKE HORROR? BUT...YOU...YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A HORROR FREAK.

During my Holliston fest last night (see previous post) the final episode definitely struck a hell of a heart string with me.  Over the past three years, I've been criticized for writing a horror blog as a woman, as someone under the age of twenty five, and most recently...for not "looking" the part.  Adam Green's character on Holliston is hopelessly in love with a very anti-typical horror gal complete with blonde hair, cutoff jean skirts, and perfectly manicured everything.  Adam and Joe pick on her for "not ever having bought anything from Hot Topic" and she makes a comment on "missing the memo on wearing black" before completely transforming her appearance to fit in with the rest of the convention.  As funny as it was, it would be far funnier if this wasn't the constant annoyance "girls like me" deal with every fucking day.  While Adam Green and plenty other celebs featured on the show pick on the things they deal with as celebrities (having iMDB pull things offline, being harassed by uberfans, etc) with a sense of a light hearted nature, they're also celebrities with the ability to fulfill their dreams and not struggling twenty one year olds fighting hordes of twi-hards and sexist horror trolls. They've got people to do that for them.  Not only that, but I'm pretty sure having a fan pester them about their new movie isn't as insulting as "until you have tattoos, you're worthless to your genre". I'm not dismissing their trials of the shit they put up with as "lesser", it's just...I can't exactly explain it. The image above is an actual screen cap from an anonymous comment I received on one of my Cabin In The Woods articles.  I hate to admit it, but this comment is one of the more tame that I've received over the years. I gotta admit, it's easier to take an insult than graphic sexual fantasy requests for video blogs from strangers.

No tattoos or colored hair? Who do you think you are?!
Anyway, I posted the comment to the Day of the Woman facebook page to get some feedback from all of you on whether or not a horror "look" is required to take someone seriously and I was pleasantly confirmed that you all aren't judgmental and ignorant (not that I ever thought you were). However, while YOU may be smart enough to understand that your exterior doesn't define your interior, there is an overwhelming amount of people that haven't been able to break that barrier. When I first started writing Day of the Woman, I'll be completely honest when I admit I garnered a good amount of my "following" because the idea of a beauty queen writing about horror movies was interesting or different or something.  I only know this because the comments I've received in comparison from 2009 to 2012 have changed drastically.  I sometimes pull the "I'm not a stereotype" card every once in a while, but when I first started...it was almost a shtick people used to talk about me with.  As much as I enjoyed making friends with other horror bloggers and readers, I was always wondering if they read me because of my content or because I was some novelty item.  Even deeper than that...why was I being marketed this way? I've discussed previously on the topic of having tattoos, but it seems that this judgement stems further than the tattoo parlor.  (PS; I am wearing a strapless top and if any of you say I get harassing comments " because I post pictures like that" you're a slut shaming son of a bitch and you can leave my blog right now because again, it's my blog and I can do whatever I want and a human is entitled to dress however they want without it constituting"asking for it") I just want to know, why did everyone make it such a big deal that I didn't fit in the horror "mold" if it "doesn't matter" what a horror fan looks like? Why is everyone commenting "it's your brain that counts" when people are saying "read this girl she's beautiful AND smart"? Why should it matter if I'm a baton twirling beauty queen? It shouldn't, and it doesn't. It doesn't fucking matter because you are who you are and that's all who you are. 

That being said, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've felt an awful lot of pressure to change my appearance to appeal to the horror crew.  The way it was presented to me was honestly exactly what I've been trying to fight against.  I was always wanting to put a hoop in my nose instead of a stud and do you know who pushed me to the hoop side? You all did. When I wasn't sure whether or not I could take the plunge for a darker shade of lipstick, it was my horror comrades that really told me to go for it while my pageant friends told me I'd look "goth".  As a woman, I constantly have to fight twice as hard to be taken seriously when writing about a genre that is arguably (stereotypically) male dominated. To top that, I'm also twenty one years old and thanks to my generation's obsession with Twilight, I also now have to fight harder to earn my street cred and prove my chops.  EVEN FURTHER, I don't have Elvira tattoos or an edgy haircut or a wardrobe consisting of corsets and striped tights. I just don't.  That isn't to say that I don't adore that "look" it's just not my personal style.  It does appear that whenever I do a video blog where I appear "darker" or "spookier" it garners far more attention and hits than my typical pajama clad rants.  Some may argue it's the subject matter...but I gotta tell you, hits don't lie. 

Friend and fellow female in horror Krystal Fancey Beck easily gave the most provocative of opinions on the topic, and she's so right it's scary.  "Here's the thing: you're kind of fucked either way. I HAVE the look- y'know, the one that supposedly earns you Horror Points or whatever- and  it's already been suggested that us SpookyOnTheOutside folks are "trying too hard", wearing a uniform, or maybe even overcompensating for not possessing the right amount of horror knowledge. You know what? I wear/decorate myself with the things that make me happy and make me feel good about myself. Yes, it gets me some attention. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good. And while way too many people assume at least part of the reason I prefer to adorn myself in such a manner is because my poor, fragile self esteem craves the attention... dude, I have a good case of social anxiety. Attention's one of the last things I want! But I've weighed both options and feeling content and, ultimately, true to myself trumps anything else. I'm sick to death of people trying to feel better about themselves by making other people feel shitty. I'm sick of standards. I actually saw someone make a list of criteria that you have to have in order to call yourself a horror fan by their vastly superior standards. You know what *I* think makes you a 'true' horror fan? Liking horror movies. I don't care what you look like, if you've never seen ____, or if you don't like ____. I don't care who or even really *what* you know. If you've this, this, and this in the horror community or if you just simply... watch horror movies. I DON'T CARE. If you like horror and are nice to me, we're cool- let's talk. Ultimately, stay to to yourself, and do what genuinely makes you happy, without concern that you're living up to anyone else's ridiculous standards." Yep. That about covers it. She's absolutely on par. We as female horror fans are damned if you do, damned if you don't, and that's the god's honest truth.  Hell, even when a "SpookyOnTheOutside" type of girl was confronted at the convention on Holliston...she was called a poser at the end because her day job was working at Express.  The sad fact of it all, is that this is something far deeper than just convention etiquette. To be honest, women in general are judged based upon their appearances, and there's this obscene concept that women are somehow new to the idea of being fans of genre entertainment. I don't know why people think this is a new thing, but it's a weird epidemic I've experienced first hand far too often.  It's like we cause annoyance just by being in the room because we're assumed to either be posers tagging along and trying to impress someone or we're some social inept mouth breathers jonesing for an autograph.

It's as if women are constantly torn between choosing a side in the debate of "pretty vs. intelligent" and it's total bullshit. I would like to bat my eyelashes and poke my dimple to say "oh, we're all a giant happy horror family who accepts all forms" but that's a bold faced lie.  Do I surround myself with non-judgemental people who are the cat's meow? Obviously, I choose not to surround myself with douchebags...but it seems that every article I write is under microscopic scrutiny and even a misplaced comma makes me a "stupid girl who knows nothing about horror".
Kristy Jett and Zach Shildwachter: Two of the biggest horror nerds I know at the Amityville house looking very "non-horror"

This isn't only a feminine issue either.  I think women are more specific in that we have to fit into either the "overly geeky super-fan" or the "gothic sex kitten" roles to find acceptance in convention land...but men experience this just as much. I'll be the first to admit that I could count on one hand the amount of men that go to a convention in something other than a black t-shirt (not including celebs or cosplayers).  As a woman, I don't think I'm really qualified to speak much more on the topic, but maybe someone with a penis will tackle this issue one of these days.  Honestly though, this nonsense is absurd. We should be supporting each other and taking care of one another. We're already the weird kids in class for worshipping murderers, torturers, and monsters...the last thing we want to do is generate animosity towards each other.  So I have a preposition for you all.  BE WHO YOU ARE. If that means wearing black all the time, rock it out. If that means wearing frilly white lace and rainbow socks, work that shit, but for the love of Cthulhu...don't change who you are because you have to "fit in".  We love you for who you are, as you are. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

HELP SAVE THE PORTAGE THEATER

There are very few places in my life that I've ever associated with feeling like "home".  Sure, I've looked at hometown landmarks with smiles throughout the years, but for every positive memory I can surely associate a harboring tragedy in the same location.  This feeling is often what I use to express my views towards my schools, playgrounds, parks, and in some cases, my own home.  I can count on one hand the places in this world that will truly feel like "home" to me.  The Portage Theater of Chicago, IL is one of these places. 


Our society has become a world where our marquee theaters have been overrun by digital monsters with modern architecture causing every building to resemble an Apple Store.  The Portage Theater is a dying breed and is unfortunately at the risk of being lost forever.  Originally opened in 1920, The Portage Theater is an architectural landmark and one of Chicago's oldest movie houses. Since being purchased by new owners in 2006, the Portage Theater has been restored to its original beauty and serves as the centerpoint of the Chicago independent film community and a key venue for up-and-coming indie music artists.  The Portage is a breeding ground for film festivals, live music, school plays, and countless other showcases of local art forms.  I have never seen a theater quite like the Portage.  Where else can you buy $3.00 popcorn, booze, and enjoy an evening of silent films with a fully restored organ?  Yeah. Come back to me when your precious Google can't even solve that puzzle.  The Portage Theater comfortably seats 1,300, and with ample nearby parking (free if you know the neighborhood), and surrounded by some incredible shops and eateries.  When it comes down to it, you really can't find another theater quite like The Portage.

The historic Portage Theater is currently threatened by the potential purchase of the building it is in by the Chicago Tabernacle Church. The church proposes to convert the theater into their worship space, remove the marquee, alter the auditorium, and eliminate the storefronts and half the apartments for offices and classrooms. The thing that needs to be realized is that The Portage isn't some run-down building collecting dust, they're trying to destroy a functioning movie theater and concert venue which serves the community. To make matters worse, the current owner has invested more than $100,000 in the renovation and stewardship of this historic theater with deep roots in the Portage Park neighborhood of Chicago...and all of that effort and money will have been wasted for a church that could buy any number of the run down Chicago buildings. The loss of this historic icon in the heart of the Six Corners Shopping District would reverse years of planning and development, and be a true travesty to the community.


HOW TO HELP: 
1. Write a letter to the zoning board.  Download the a copy of the official letter here!
Zoning Board of Appeals
Jonathan Swain Chairman
121 N. LaSalle Street Room 905
Chicago, IL 60602
Clearly indicate on the envelope RE:The Portage Theater to ensure proper delivery


In the letter: Explain in your own words that the destruction of the Portage Theater, a neighborhood icon, will do irreparable harm to the largest commercial corridor outside the loop. Current business will be disrupted and future businesses will be scared away from moving into the community. Tax base will be lost and the Tax Increment Financing and Special Service Areas be harmed. The Portage Park neighborhood will lose a favorite and the Portage park economy will never be the same.

2.  Attend the Zoning Board of Appeals Hearing - April 20 - 9am - City Hall
3.  Sign up for updates on our contact page
4.  Join the Facebook page
5.  Tweet about the issue using #saveportage
6.  Recruit others to do the same.
7.  Donate! Any donations will help offset legal and other fees related to saving the theater. 
For more information, visit:

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

POST 666: THE DEVIL THAT WALKS AMONG US-A LIFELONG LOVE AFFAIR WITH MICHAEL MYERS

Six more days til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. Six more days til Halloween, SILVER SHAMROCK!  Today embarks on a cliche horror day, as this will be the six hundred and sixty sixth post on Day of the Woman.  Rather than go the predictable route and write about something religious (since I've already covered it), I chose a more personal topic: The devil that walks among us.  Michael Myers is hands down my favorite of the main slashers.  Despite the recent reboot of the franchise, my heart has always remained in the sleepy town of Haddonfield, Illinois.  As the holiday of his namesake peeks its head around the hedges, it's only fitting that I finally fess up and admit my love for the Shatner faced shape.   

My earliest recollection embarking the emotionless maniac was after my fifth Halloween, the first trick or treating experience I can consciously remember.  I had spent the evening running around the neighborhood dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West and cackling at children in the street.  Even as a kindergartner, I was a big crusader for remaining in character.  After the night was overtaken with hooligans intent on smashing pumpkins and stealing children from unsupervised toddlers, I managed my way back into the front door with my pillowcase filled with sugar dragging behind me.  The living room was dim and my mother sat with a wine glass in hand with her face glued to the television.  Exhausted, my dad picked up my (at the time) two year old sister and retired for the remainder of the night.  I poured out my conquests into the middle of the living room and began organizing the horde (something I would do every year following).  After the chocolates were separated from the sour, my mother extended a makeup remover wipe to me and simply said "Come here, I want to show you something". 

I climbed on top of the couch and snuggled into my mother's embrace.  The film began to roll, and I don't think I blinked the entire duration of the film. It was as if some sort of supernatural force had taken a hold of my psyche and forced my eyes wide A Clockwork Orange style without any contraption to hold them open.  I sat on the couch paralyzed and my mother just looked down at me and said "So, what'd you think?"  I turned to look back up at her and at full conviction exclaimed "THAT WAS THE COOLEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN!"

Years would go by and my infatuation with The Shape grew to an almost unhealthy level.  I found myself renting the films as much as humanly possible and shutting down my entire evening if AMC were to play it on television.  There was an instance one Halloween where a teenager wore a Michael Myers costume and just stood silently in the middle of the street.  I couldn't walk down the block if I saw him there.  For as scared as I was, I couldn't help but hope that I'd see him at the end of the road whenever I turned a corner. 

Maybe it is the preference he has for murdering people in the comfort of their own home, or the fact he shows absolutely no signs of struggle or weakness while he does it.  Michael is the embodiment of pure evil and he makes it his goal to assure that you're aware of it.  He doesn't need one-liners or a slew of imaginative means of torture to destroy his victims.  He slashes, and he dashes...and yet makes sure his victims feel every single second slip away.  He's not just a serial killer, he's a cruel personification of malevolence.  To top it all off...he can't die.  It doesn't matter what anyone does to him, he can not die.  If anything, that's the scariest part of him all.  Michael Myers is the epitome of a horror icon and has been a staple in my little horror pumping heart.  Here's to you, Michael Myers for your successful career causing nightmares, surviving any and every challenger, and making a name for yourself as the perfect example of a Halloween slasher. 

Monday, October 10, 2011

BJ-C'S BIGGEST HORROR GUILTY PLEASURES

The always fabulous Christine Hadden over at Fascination With Fear is spending her October putting her compulsive list-making to good use.  Every day in October, she's putting up a list.  Seriously. Every. Freaking. Day. Welp, yesterday she posted a list dedicated to nine of her biggest guilty pleasures.  She's inspired me to analyze my own guilty pleasures, and I'm going to pass the savings on to you!  Without further ado, here's my personal list of my biggest guilty pleasures.
THE HAPPENING
The movie with killer plants, the movie where Mark E. Mark talks to a fake tree, the movie where Zooey Deschanel does nothing but STARE for 2 hours wait, that's every thing she's ever done, and the movie that put the nail in the coffin on M. Night Shamalahymen's credibility.  On paper, this is quite possibly one of the worst films of the last ten years.  The premise had so much promise, but the ill-timed comic relief, poor casting choices, and misguided vision of the director bit everyone involved in the ass.  It just didn't work.  Well, for most people.  I happen to find this film hilarious and I could watch it all day, every day if only to watch Abigail Breslin's less talented brother try to go gangster on a door.  Sue me. I like what I like and I like this movie.
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE
So, remember that time Stephen King tried to direct the film version of one of his films and made the soundtrack comprised of nothing but AC/DC music and gave the guy from Mighty Ducks a huge romantic/heroic lead role?  Yeah...me too.  This film is ridiculous, pure and utter chaos, and I can't get enough of it.  I mean, THERE'S A VENDING MACHINE THAT TRIES TO KILL YOU! How can you not get behind a film like that?  Oh yeah, because the voice of Lisa Simpson spends 90% of the film screaming "Curtis" while wearing an outfit she stole from Blossom's closet.
BRUISER
You know what?  I don't care that George A. Romero tried to make films that weren't about zombies.  I freaking love this film.  I love it so much, I wrote a love letter to the protagonist for Romero Week over at Freddy In Space.  Get off me, I like it.
 RAWHEAD REX
Clive Barker characters are usually very hit or miss for most people.  The general consensus seems to be that Rawhead Rex was a miss.  A pagan God gets a little cranky and destroys everything in its path, and it looks...like that.  There's ridiculous gore. It's Irish. I like the accents. Deal with it.
MONSTER MAN
What could possibly be worse than waking up in the middle of a sexual fantasy only to find out you're actually eating out the wound of road kill?  Nothing, except the fact that I proudly own this monstrosity on DVD. I guess this is cheating considered I have a hell of a lot of sentimental value tied to this film.  This film is ridiculous in every sense of the word, and the music sounds like something left over from a failed Disney Channel series.  Despite all of its glaring issues, I could watch this film anytime, anywhere.

Okay, I'm going to cut myself off at 5 before I destroy any more of my credibility. 
Peace, Love, & Brains <3


Sunday, September 4, 2011

EXPOSING FRIENDS TO HORROR FILMS: THE ART OF MAKING CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING FEEL LIKE A CHUMP

One of the worst parts about the dreaded summer vacation away from college life is the fact that I'm stuck at home living with my parents again.  An even worse aspect about leaving college life is no longer having someone with hours to sit around and do absolutely nothing with.  While exposing my mother and my sister's comrades to horror films once in a blue moon helps me get my rocks off, spending weekends in the living room of my dearest companions with instant-watch Netflix holds the undisputed crown of joy in my life.  Thanks to the holiday laws of 'Merican state schools, my university is on a three day weekend.  Instead of solely spending my free weekend in an alcohol induced coma (if you follow me on twitter, you'll know that I save that for the evenings) most of my hours have been spent in front of a television screen.  In the past 36 hours, we've been witness to Trick 'R Treat, Lake Mungo, Daybreakers, Ghostbusters, Poltergeist, Little Shop of Horrors, and The Exorcist.  It's up for debate whether or not some of these are "horror" movies, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm finally reuinted with people who share the same lust for horror as I do.

The first film was put on out of pure curiosity by my friends, although there were a few who had their doubts based on the cover.  It brought me great pleasure to witness their faces light-up at lines like "Charlie Brown's an asshole!", and watch them jump and down in delight when the stories all began to intertwine.  And yes, as college kids, we all get quite the kick out of the werewolf transition scenes.  It was nice to see the skeptics turn into believers, and the die-hard fans looked as though I had dropped the Holy Grail in their laps.  It's not very often that I've seen a film have such an overwhelming effect on those I've exposed it to, and it makes me feel like I'm watching my children ride a bike with two wheels for the first time.

As the afternoon brought a thunderstorm that shook the windows and cooled the air, they requested a film that would make their skin crawl.  I felt that their appetite could only be suppressed with Australian paranormal nightmares.  As the storm grew quieter, the only sounds that could be heard was the light flicking of nervous fingernail biting and cell phone buttons being tapped purely out of distraction from their fears.  The strangest thing, was how you could feel the frightened energy bouncing around the room as people spent half their time staring at the television screen in disbelief, and the other half of their time scanning the room from some sort of distraction to help ease their fears into submission.  The credits rolled, the big "twist" was revealed and there was...silence.  I presumed at first that the silence was due to the awe of how they all missed the reveal from the beginning, but the silence was directly inspired by fear.  It was at this point that my friend exclaimed "I'm really, really creeped out right now".  Which was shortly follwed by another friend claiming "I really need to go to the bathroom, but I'm way too scared to go".  I firmly believe that a film has truly done its job if it has scared you enough to make peeing your pants seem like a better option than closing a door.

Little Shop and The Exorcist are a bit of a blur (thanks to special rootbeer floats and whipped cream flavored vodka), but I can say that watching the latter long after the possibility of passing a field sobriety test was a new experience.  I don't think I've ever noticed how much Father Karras looks like the poor man's Sly Stallone until last night.  Just Sayin'.  Anyway...after sleeping and consuming a ridiculous amount of greasy food, things resumed with a classic view of Ghostbusters.  Bill Fucking Murry and the rest of the crew made the morning survivable, but we were craving a creepier classic for the afternoon.  Enter Poltergeist.  Most of the room had already seen the flick, but there were the few who hadn't.  It had been a couple of years since my last viewing, so it was a more than warm welcome.  Just a side thought, have any of you noticed how unbelievably depressing the burial preparation for Tweety the bird is?  Christ.  She put a blanket and a family photo in that cigar box.  The film only reminded me how much I love Tobe Hooper and how desperately we need to return to giving horror films actual scores instead of playing shitty metal music.
As I type this, we're nearing the end of Daybreakers.  While it may be a film that most found lackluster, the ending soldier frenzy is doing more than satisfying the needs of my co-eds.  It's days like today that remind me why I do what I do.  If it wasn't for this blog and those I've met from the horror community, I wouldn't know where to find horror gems and I wouldn't be able to expose those around me to them.  We as horror fans are constantly ridiculed for liking the films that we like, and it is our duty as fans to spread quality horror films to those who are willing to watch them.  Horror is not dead, my friends.  Horror is alive, but it is our job to make sure it isn't left behind.

Monday, August 29, 2011

AND GOD SAID, LET THERE BE TWI-HARDS.

It was a chilly evening in August when I found myself towel bound and compelled to throw out the trash accumulating in the back of my dorm room. Groggily, I stumbled down the hallway amidst the echoes of one night stands and those paying their respects to the porcelain God. I stood in front of the garbage chute and disposed of the empty Cheez-It boxes and spaghetti-o cans. Suddenly, it was silent. I stretched my body upward as I let out a yawn and out of my peripheral ...I saw it.  It stood calmly and almost appeared to let out an ominous glow from the end of the hallway.  I found myself caught in its grasp and was uncontrollably drawn to it.  "This...this can't be real.  Only out of my darkest nightmares have I been burdened with something this horrific." I thought to myself.  As the fog from my eyes cleared and my mind allowed me to focus on the terror at hand, I saw it.  
Your eyes are not deceiving you.  What stands before you is the door of a twenty two year old twi-hard.  I firmly believe that this is karma biting me in the ass for constantly ridiculing Twatlight fanatics.  My punishment for having a passion for intellectually destroying anyone obsessed with this shitstorm of a franchise is that for the rest of this year, I have a jarring omen to ruin my whole day.


I hate college.

Monday, August 22, 2011

BJ-C'S HORROR MOVIE RECOMMENDATION LIST FOR THE INEXPERIENCED COLLEGE STUDENT V.2

Ah, the collegiate environment.  As the stale odor of Keystone lingers over the air, the sound of bustling backpacks and shuffling feet can be heard above the chatter on campuses all across the country.  I spent most of my morning sitting amongst sleepy eyed co-eds and trying to figure out "something interesting about myself" to recite in front of my fellow peers rather than attempting to slit my wrists with my syllabus out of pure boredom.  Like most first days, my "interesting" fact is a shameless plug for this blog.  I've made plenty of pals and at the very least, intrigued most of my professors with Day of the Woman.  With a new year brings new opportunities for BJ-C to enlighten the horror challenged youth of Illinois.  With that being said, sharpen your pencils and be sure to pay attention.  This is the annual (and updated) list of horror films geared towards the inexperienced college kid.

CLASSICS
If there's anything I've learned from being in the collegiate environment, it's that anyone born after 1985 seems to have absolutely zero knowledge whatsoever on horror films made before their time. It's weird to comprehend this, but yes, there are people out there who haven't ever seen a horror film in black in white or without computer effects.  Like any History professor will teach you, it's important to know where you came from in order to figure out where you're going.
  • Psycho (1960)
  • Rosemary's Baby (1968)
  • Carnival of Souls (1962)
  • The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
  • Nosferatu (1922)
  • Faust (1926)
  • The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) 
  • FREAKS! (1932)
  • Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
  • The Birds (1963)
FOREIGN LANGUAGE
One of the more depressing facts of the horror genre is coming to terms with the fact that some of the greatest horror films in existence aren't in English.  Honestly, a good percent of College Americans are just too damn lazy to read freaking subtitles.  However, there are some films too spectacular to look past and deserve their recommendations.  It's very common to require a foreign language course as a graduation requirement, and for that reason alone, it's important for us to integrate foreign horror into our horror required viewings.
  • Let The Right One In (2008)
  • Audition (1999/2000)
  • The Orphanage (2007)
  • Inside (2007)
  • [REC] (2007)
  • Man Bites Dog (1992)
  • Eyes Without A Face (1959)
  • A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)
  • Les Diaboliques (1954)
  • The Devil's Backbone (2001)
GHOSTS
It doesn't matter how many horror movies I sit through, there's always something much more frightening about the thought of something actually happening.  Even if people claim not to believe in them, everyone at some point, has been afraid of ghosts.  Whether it be the illustrations from the Alvin Schwartz children's books or the tales told around a campfire, ghosts are a commonplace occurance for fear.  There's something about the possibility of what goes bump in the night to be someone...something else.  The mystery of what becomes of us after we leave this life is a seemingly universal fear for everyone, and ghost movies exploit that fear better than anything.

  • Lady in White (1988)
  • The Changeling (1980)
  • Paranormal Activity (2009)
  • The Shining (1980)
  • Lake Mungo (2010)
  • The Haunting (1963)
  • The Orphanage (2007)
  • Poltergeist (1982)
  • Session 9 (2001)
  • The Amityville Horror (1979)

ZOMBIES
Alright, let's face it.  There is absolutely nothing greater in the world of horror movie monsters, than zombies.  Zombies are the kings of the horror world and I don't see them losing their crown anytime soon.  (Suck it, Edward) Even people who hate horror movies understand the workings and the concept behind our undead favorites. The plus side of the zombie being such a popular creature is the plethora of zombie films being cranked out every year. The downside...they're not all good.  It's important to make sure that our inexperienced college brethren are picking up the RIGHT zombie films from Family Video, we wouldn't want them taking home a dud. NOTE: Some of these films are arguably not "zombie" films, but "virus" films.  Screw it, this isn't comic-con. They don't care. They just want hordes. 
  • Romero's Night/Dawn/Day of the Dead (1968/1977/1985)
  • Zombi 2 (1979)
  • ...28 Days Later (2002)
  • Dawn of the Dead (2004)
  • Return of the Living Dead (1985)
  • Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972)
  • Versus (2000)
  • Deadgirl (2008)
  • Pontypool (2009)
  • Dellamorte, Dellamore (1994)
COMEDY
Believe it or not, there is a huge following for horror comedies.  The combination of laughing and screaming seem to entertain the masses.  While most horror comedies tend to be run by the zombie genre, there are plenty of other comedy horror flicks to tickle your fancy. Horror comedies seem to be like the zombie, in that just about everyone loves them. Horror comedies also come in handy when dealing with someone who isn't all that familiar with horror films or tends to scare easily.  It's a nice gateway into the realm we all love so dearly.
  • An American Werewolf In London (1981)
  • Fright Night (1985)
  • Evil Dead II (1987)
  • Shaun of the Dead (2004)
  • Zombieland (2009)
  • Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
  • Night of the Creeps (1986)
  • Young Frankenstein (1974)
  • Slither (2006)
  • The Burbs (1989)
SLASHER

Probably the most well-known of the horror genres, college kids seem to eat up slasher films.  With unique kills, sassy dialogue, and the ever entrancing final girls seem to drive straight up young adult alleys.  The sad thing is that most people my age recognize slashers as something concocted by Rob Zombie (or an absolutely dreadful remake company), and all of the great ones go unnoticed.
  • Candyman (1992)
  • Black Christmas (1974)
  • Halloween (1978)
  • Scream (1996)
  • A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
  • The House on Sorority Row (1983)
  • Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2007)
  • Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)
  • American Psycho (2000)
  • Friday The 13th (Screw it, just pick one)
SCI-FI

Everyone knows that college is filled with more than its fair share of nerds.  After the countless unnecessary GenEd's of the biologies and the computer sciences, it's nice to see the sci-fi work in a more entertaining fashion.  And what do nerds love more than science fiction? Horror of course! You add a little horror to the mix, and you've got something that appeals to more than just the protractor posse!  No offense of course, most of my best friends are nerds....Anyway, sci-fi and horror seem to go hand and hand.  It is by combining these two forces that we are given some of the best horror films in existence.

  • Videodrome (1983)
  • The Thing (1982)
  • Alien (1979)
  • Event Horizon (1997)
  • Lifeforce(1985)
  • They Live (1987)
  • It Came From Outer Space (1953)
  • The Blob (1988)
  • Scanners (1981)
  • The Fly (1986)
GORE
There really isn't much that needs to be said.  College kids are a simple breed with simple expectations and simple amusements.  There's no easier way to amuse the sick and twisted little minds of the future's best and brightest than to smother the screen in blood and guts.  It seems that college kids have all been struck by the Saw & Hostel bugs but haven't really seen anything gorier than that.  There are some films like Cannibal Holocaust that I'd never recommend to a college crowd, but that isn't to say there aren't gory gems that need to be seen by the masses!
  • Re-Animator (1985)
  • Dead Alive (1994)
  • House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
  • The Beyond (1981)
  • City of the Living Dead (1980)
  • Tokyo Gore Police (2008)
  • Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
  • Ichi The Killer (2001)
  • The Beyond (1981)
  • Tenebre (1982)


 CLASS IS DISMISSED!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

WIU FEATURES BJ-C AND DAY OF THE WOMAN!

WARNING: THIS IS AN EXTREMELY GRATUITOUS POST
I've had this since about April, but I've finally gotten around to showing the hard copy of it.  My school (Western Illinois University) has a literary magazine every semester and last semester, yours truly was one of the featured topics.  Sophomore journalism student, Alyse Thompson, thought I was cool enough for an interview and I was given a two page spread.  

Just thought I'd share :)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

HER NAME WAS BJ-C, AND TODAY IS HER BIRTHDAY

My darling womanizers, I am officially 21 years old!!!
This is quite the accomplishment for me, as horror movie rules would have wiped me out by 19.  
I will most likely be inebriated today (I don't care that it's a Monday) , and I've set this as an automatic post at midnight.  I may be late to the party, but I'm in good company!
EEEEEEEEEE! I'll probably be experiencing a Horror Hangover for the next few days, but I'll be back with a TpT on Tuesday!
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