THIS FILM IS A DEADLY SIN: A REVIEW OF FAT KID MASSACRE

As of late, the horror genre seems to be overwhelmed with remakes and found footage films.  Whenever an original concept is brought to light, genre fans cling to it not necessarily because of its high quality, but simply because it's different.  A short film was recently brought to my attention with an incredibly unique premise, but unfortunately fails to deliver a quality final product.  Brought to us by BDHR Entertainment (run by the man behind Big Daddy Horror Reviews, Brandon Sites) FAT KID MASSACRE is (according to the crew) "a touching coming of age story that revolves around a former fat kid who got muscular and good looking, but who struggles with identity issues as his former friends - THE FAT KIDS - bully him on a constant basis. As a cruel prank is set into motion, a killer arrives on the scene to make sure these fat kids pay for their glutony and unhealthy lifestyle, including death by Twinkie suffociation!"  I copied this description off of their official indiegogo fanpage, spelling errors included.  Based solely off of the short film version that has been circulating the internet, I think that the writers behind this film are giving themselves a little too much credit.  This film was a borderline abomination, an insult to horror filmmaking, and stole nine minutes and twenty seconds of my life that I will never get back.

First of all, the acting by the three "fat kids" are absolutely treacherous.  Writer/Producer Brandon Sites cast himself as one of the fat kids and he looked like he was smiling with pride after delivering every single line.  His acting style reminded me of Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, in that every time he said a line that "sounded black" he'd smile at what he presumed to be his own brilliance. The only difference, is that Brandon Sites has absolutely no concept of vocal rhythm and delivers lines reminiscent of the old women preaching "all senior citizens should have life alert" followed by an unnatural smile.  The first three seconds of the damn short show the fat kids stuffing their faces and you can see Brandon Sites trying not to smile while shoving food in his mouth.  I have nothing against writers/producers/directors acting in their films, but usually...they can actually fucking act.  To make matters worse, Brandon and the other "fat kids" are supposedly the old friends of former fat kid "Ian-The Skinny Bitch". Ian looks easily twenty years younger than all of them, which forces the believability of their friendship completely out the window.  It's unfortunate, because Ryan Sandefur, the actor playing Ian, actually plays a "bitch" quite well.  The only problem is that he's a halfway decent actor surrounded by a gaggle of guys who wouldn't have even been cast as Tree #4 in a community theatre production.

The final seven minutes of the short film is nothing more than one of the fat kids tied to a chair by a masked man who "taunts him" with weapons until finally forcefeeding him Twinkies until he dies.  For seven minutes we're given nothing but a poorly lit room with a dull build up to an unsatisfying pay off.  All the while, forced to listen to the annoying and unconvincing whines of a fat kid tied up to a chair. I can't even give them credit for having an unique kill, because we've seen the "feed the fatty to death" kill before in plenty of other films. (I'm looking at you, Se7en).  The dialogue is mind-numbingly poor and clearly forgot any sort of common sense in the process. When the fat kids are bullying the skinny bitch, one of the men states "You went behind our backs and lost all the weight".  Okay, this kid is not only about 200 pounds lighter than the lot of fat kids, but he's also built like a god damn GI Joe.  Lost weight behind your backs?  YOU WOULD HAVE NOTICED THE WEIGHT LOSS.  So unless their friend went on a three year hiatus or a stint on The Biggest Loser, the audience's suspension of disbelief just isn't strong enough to believe that.  Continuity problems aside, THE DIALOGUE HAS IMPROPER SYNTAX.  "You're just a scared, little, pathetic, kid from Georgia who amount to nothing."  I believe the word you were looking for was "amounted" not "amount".  Then again, maybe the line delivered was supposed to be "amounted" and in that case, Brandon as an actor really, really needs to work on his enunciation. I hate to say it, but he is the largest reason why this short is so terrible.  His acting is distracting, and his writing brings it down.  The camera work is rather good and the editing is very clean.  The biggest problem, is Brandon Sites.

The actual storyline is absolutely ridiculous and if this is supposed to make me want to donate my hard earned cash to fund the feature version of this film, I'd rather donate my money to Chik-Fil-A before I'd donate to this garbage. I'm not here to rip on someone's hard work, but this film is part of a trend that desperately needs to end.  I'm talking about the kickstarter/indie gogo projects undeserving of our attention.  The writer/producer has been putting on social networking sites that he sees this film as a "future cult classic". In the words of the incomparable Kristin Wiig, are you fucking serious?  I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but are you fucking serious?  The fact that people are actually donating to this piece of trite garbage makes me want to swallow drain cleaner.  The crew has shown promises of having Scream Queens Season 2's Sierra Holmes in the feature version and I want to just shake her and ask her what in the actual hell she is doing being associated with something this unwatchable.  There are so many wonderful, terrific, well-deserving films that must resort to indiegogo or kickstarter to help aide them in getting their films made, and then there's shit like Fat Kid Massacre that's only positive use would be using the disc as a coaster.  I'm all about supporting indie films, I am one of the largest supporters of indie films, but just because you're low budget...doesn't mean I have to support you.  Money can't buy a good storyline, and it can't prevent one either.   

To Sierra Holmes, Ryan Sandefur, Kaylee Williams, Alisa Lova, Aley Kreinz, and Shawn C. Phillips, I don't care how desperate for work you are, this is something that should be scrubbed from your resumes, immediately. Normally I'd post a link for the indiegogo, but honestly, this film doesn't deserve your money. If you really want to seek it out, you can do it for yourself.

UNDESERVED BUDGETS AND GREENLIT STATUSES: WHY WE KEEP GETTING SUCH TERRIBLE FILMS

The summer of 2012 has arguably been the summer of Superhero Blockbusters, leaving our beloved horror genre to seemingly rot away from the movie theaters.  As of today, the most terrifying films in theaters are a tie between the Katy Perry biopic, and Madea's Witness Protection.  While drinking liquid drain cleaner sounds more appealing than either of those films, it's very strange to be starting the last leg of summer and have absolutely ZERO options for new horror films in the theater.  August is rearing its ugly head to deliver us a platter of new horror films, but many of them (based on trailers alone) are questionable at best.  The only thing I'm really excited for this summer is ParaNorman. That's right, a children's horror movie. That's a sign we've got a problem.  I don't know who is in charge of determining which films are green-lit or how much money a film is alotted in its budget, but my guess is that whoever it is, doesn't take the time to read a damn script.  It would appear that having a quality story means absolutely jack shit these days.  I only say this after enduring hours upon hours of horror films that never deserved to be anything more than chicken scratch on a stained napkin at Denny's.

The worst instance of this epidemic would have to be flashing the old (and I mean OLD) resume card.  There is a reason that athletes, musicians, and even public workers retire at some point.  Retirement doesn't mean that passion for your career has subsided, it just means you aren't quite as good at it as you once were.  Don't believe me?  Compare the voices of aging rockstars, the speed of aging athletes, and the film quality of aging filmmakers.  Ol' Uncle George Romero is the undisputed King of the Zombies, created the most beloved movie monster in nearly a century, and completely changed the face of horror as we know it.  When George Romero was in his prime, he was absolutely unstoppable.  Dawn of the Dead is still hailed as the greatest zombie film of all time and Romero has become the epitome of a horror icon.  No one is more memorable, recognisable, or as idolized as George A. Romero.  Flash forward out of the 1960's and you'll find yourself with an adorable old man who has completely lost his grasp of what makes a good horror film.  If stating the truth about the consistency of Uncle George makes me a blasphemous horror blogger, you're on the wrong site.  George had shown his decline with plenty of his non-zombie films like Bruiser and The Dark Half, but his latest installments of his "...of the Dead" series have showed that Romero has lost his touch.  It's not even the effects that are a problem, it's the storyline and especially so, the dialogue.  My God.  Anyone with half of a brain cell could read the screeplays to these films and know to run away. However, you slap the name "Romero" on a film with the words "dead", "zombie", or "horror", and movie studios will break open their Swiss piggy banks to fund the damn movie. Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THE NAME.  You don't care about the trailer, you don't care about the dialogue, you don't care about the quality of it at all. You see the name Romero and you drop your panties and run to the theater and Phillip J. Fry style shake wads of money in the faces of ticket vendors.  Luckily the score on Rotten Tomatoes killed My Soul To Take so badly it scared most people away, even though a lot of you still fell for the name Wes Craven.

Another quick way to get unnecessary greenlights and big budgets is finding a way to milk a current cash cow.  All of the highest grossing horror films of the last few yeras have been ones that come from something else. The second someone slaps the title "From the makers of..." to a trailer, everyone loses their mind and has to go see it. Why? BECAUSE THE GUY FROM SAW MADE IT! or BECAUSE IT'S LIKE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.  Remember what happened when they set up a horror movie like that? You wound up with The Devil Inside and had an ending you had to watch on the internet. Way to go, sheepies. The worst part about it, they were greenlit solely for that reason.  Some of the films that come from "the makers of..." are absolutely TERRIBLE, but the film industry knows your lemming ass will go see something solely because you liked what came before it.  I can't blame people for doing it, but it's a sham.  Running off of "brand name" horror will only get you so far, and then everything you create will be just another Crystal Pepsi failure. 

They say it's not what you know, but rather who you know.  Anyone who doesn't believe this is the truth is either sadly naiive, or the child of a famous person.  As much as the film Chronicle is a hell of a great big budget debut for Max Landis, it's hard to imagine that his screenplay would have gotten any sort of notice if it wasn't because he shares a name with an incredibly well decorated director.  World War Z is at best, an average zombie novel and in no way/shape/form should have ever crossed into the territory of film adaptation, but when it's written by a guy who sprung from the loins of Mel fucking Brooks, getting a publishing house to take a look at your zombie book isn't going to be difficult.  I'm not saying that anyone who comes from well established Hollywood parents is innately untalented, I'm saying they have a hell of a lot easier of a time achieving their dreams.  Some of the world's most talented filmmakers will never experience what it's like to see their film completed with the best of actors and the best of cameras simply because the film industry is really tough.  Add that to the fact that there are too many mediocre, yet entitled kids trying to do the exact same thing and there's no more room at the inn for Johnny Moviemaker.   

The absolute worst, most despicable offender of unnecessary greenlighting and budget approvals, is none other than the shameless associations.  I'm talking about films like Vampires Suck and the upcoming Warm Bodies.  These are films that are made simply to try and steal some of the money train off of Twilight. TWILIGHT. Of all the fucking things.  First of all, the lowest grossing Harry Potter movie has earned more money than all of the Twilight films COMBINED and yet this shit is producing unnecessary spin-offs? While Warm Bodies isn't a vampire romance, it is a zombie romance where the zombie looks like a pretty boy and it makes me want to violently shake.  This film would have NEVER been made if it hadn't been for Hollywood trying to replace the cash flow of the Twi-hards. It's situations like this that frustrate me to no end.  There are so many films that struggle to find the funding, films that DESERVE the funding, that will never reach it all because of the way the "game" is played.  It saddens me to admit that the world of cinema isn't funded by passion, creativity, or quality anymore. Movies now only exist because of dollar signs, and that my friends is very, very sad. 

BELIEVE IT OR NOT: THE BUCKEYE BRINGS THE HORROR

I will be the first one to admit that I'm a self-proclaimed Chicago snob. I firmly believe that Chicago, Illinois is the greatest city in the United States and would defend it until I'm Cubbie Blue in the face.  Recent events, however, have forced me to contemplate leaving the Windy City and replanting some roots in the Buckeye State.  This past weekend was my first real dive into the Cleveland horror scene and I have to say, it's a pretty incestuously wonderful place to be.  I spent the weekend crashing at the pad of horror enthusiast (and DotW favorite), Zach Shildwachter.  I don't have any pictures of it, but trust me when I say his place is a fankid's dream home.  One of the major things that attracts me to a city and its film scene has to do with the accessibility of finding them.  I've been to my fair share of Record Exchanges, but the Cleveland Record Exchange was massive.  Unrealistically massive.  Without the insane price markups of Cook County, IL, the two of us were able to nab quite a huge haul of films.

As the two of us debated on what should have been included on the Roger Corman collection, we were approached by a worker who was willing to discuss god-awful horror movies with us.  He generated a very welcoming atmosphere and it was nice to find solace with someone who understood why we found Shadowzone to be a worthy purchase amongst an entire store full of people looking to pawn off their rejected Tyler Perry collections. The following day was a real treat as we were joined by The Blood Sprayer's founder Wes Allen, his beautiful wife, and adorable spawn.  The first half of the visit was spent debating horror movies, discussing the awesome people in the horror blogosphere, and a mask fashion show led by Zach and Mini-Allen.  Living at home with my parents when I'm not away at school has been extremely difficult on having some quality horror bonding time.  The Allen clan didn't come over just for shits and gigs, we had far more interesting plans ahead of us.

In order to properly prepare for the evening ahead, we needed to transform out of our normal flesh suits and into something a bit more undead.  Thanks to Zach Shildwachter's incredible knack for special effects makeup and a love of all things zombie, he was able to transform four adults into four very different and contrasting in progression zombies.  He started with Wes who dons a beard of epic proportions, giving a little less room of flesh to work with.  Zach did such a great job, many of Wes' facebook comments on the picture included people asking what the hell happened to him.  Wes' wife Ashley was given a zombie bite beginning to mutate her skin, I was given a simple and classic hollowed out look, and Zach donned some contacts and black blood --his most recent obsession.  The looks we received on the way to the event, priceless.

The reason for all of the zombie makeup?  OldSchool Sinema's Zombie Bowling, of course!  From what I have been gathering, OldSchool Sinema is the major distributor of all of the zombie-centric events around the greater Cleveland area.  Home of the best in NEW exploitation/grindhouse/horror/B-Movie/

cult/underground cinema, host of the Cleveland charity ZOMBIE WALK (every spring and fall), and of the Sinema Sirens (Pin-ups, scream queens), Oldschool Sinema is growing bigger and stronger.  The crew rented out the basement level of Mahalls 20 Lanes, and for 10 dollars we were treated to unlimited bowling.  Zombies and Toys was there to provide plenty of zombie collectibles for purchase and tons fun memorabilia.  There was also alcohol and surprisingly wonderful grub.

The main reason I trekked out to Ohio was actually to enjoy the world premiere of the short film I AM ALIVE by J Buckner.  (Review will come tomorrow!)  The film was shown along with a handful of other shorts that The Studio On Mars productions have come up with and held the event at the outstanding venue, The Beachland Ballroom and Tavern.  The turn out was massive and it just goes to show what a strong support system the Cleveland film scene has.  The author of the story in which the short film was based off of even drove up from Omaha, Nebraska to see the film.  I was very impressed with the set up and more impressed with the environment than anything.  Everyone at the event was wanting to be there and better yet, was excited to be there.

All and all, maybe Hawthorne Heights had it right.

Ohio is totally for lovers.

I AM ALIVE: WORLD PREMIERE JULY 15TH IN CLEVELAND, OHIO

A little over a month ago I spoke briefly about an up and coming zombie short film from Justin Buckner titled I AM ALIVE.  It seemed to have sparked some interest from some of you readers and luckily for you, I've got the inside scoop on how you can find a way to see it!

Tickets will be available for $6 each and can be purchased on www.beachlandballroom.com or else tickets are available for purchase from the cast and crew. I've already got my ticket scored away and this event looks promising and more than worth the six dollar entrance fee.  All of the proceeds from the event will go towards entry fees to submit I AM ALIVE to the film festival circuit.  If that doesn't win you over, all of the cast and crew will be at the screening to party it up with the attendees; meaning yes, you can party with the zombies.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Along with the premiere screening of I AM ALIVE they will be showing a couple of other short skits from these fine folks that have been filmed over the last year. The director's band, Galactic Moustache, (that's a hell of a name) and their production group Studio on Mars have been creating music videos and web based skits and will screen some of the most popular shorts.

DON'T TOUCH THAT MOUSE, THERE'S EVEN MORE!

Following the screening there will be live music performances by 

Presque Vu and Galactic Moustache.

 For those counting at home, that means you get a handful of short films, awesome web skits, music videos, two live band performances, and the opportunity to support indie film making. I'm surely going to be there with bells on and so should you. 

For more information click the links below

More info on the film- www.facebook.com/iamalivemovie.com

More info on the venue- www.beachlandballroom.com

Galactic Moustache- www.galacticmoustache.com

Presque Vu- http://presquevumusic.com/

WOMAN OF THE WEEK: KAT SHERIDAN

Red headed siren, Kat Sheridan discovered a passion for acting at 6 years old. Since then, she trained in classical theater, starred in several productions (from Shakespeare to Vaudeville), and even directed a play "The Good Doctor" by Neil Simon. She has B.A. in Theater Arts, has experience in improv comedy, belongs to the Actor's Co-Op, and has workshopped with the Lifebook acting group. Later expanding her range to film and television, she starred in a promotional commercial for Showtime's Lock N Load reality show, appeared in a music video, short films, and recently completed her first feature film as a principal actor, The Red House, a horror film premiering in 2012.  The Red House (not to be confused with any of the other films of the same name) is brought to us by Greg Avellone and Johh Otrin (of Friday the 13th fame). The premise involves attractive young people going to a cabin in the woods, and not surprisingly, find themselves involved with mayhem and madness. A lover of all things nerdy and genre oriented, Kat Sheridan is more than just another girl trying to make a name for herself in the business.

Kat enjoys physical performance due to her extensive stage combat background, including single sword, broad sword, rapier & dagger skills, as well as bull whip training. She has has also done modeling work for publicity campaigns for online, film, and music projects. Ms. Sheridan has worked on several comedies and dramas, but also enjoys genre work such as period pieces, science fiction and fantasy. Outside of entertainment, Kat enjoys sailing offshore of Seattle, driving cross country, and horse-back riding. Sheridan took the initiative and sought me out to tell me about her new project with The Red House, but it was upon my other research that I decided to deliver Kat Sheridan the coveted honor of Woman of the Week.  Not only an actress and model, Kat is also a producer of quite possibly one of the coolest fangirl projects I've ever seen. She's currently producing a comedy web series online about comic con culture and people who dress up as "cosplayers".  I'm excited to see what else Kat Sheridan has up her sleeve and hope to watch her career continue to blossom.

You can follow her on

 Twitter, Facebook, Blogspot,  

Youtube, and IMDB.

HELP MAKE "HAUNTED" A REALITY

Although I had reserved Day of the Woman exclusively for Women in Horror month festivities, a new kickstarter project has been brought to my attention that I highly recommend you check out and support.  The brain child of three of my favorite horror bloggers; Brad McHargue, Count Vardulon (www.vardulon.com) and The Dive Mistress (www.zombots.net) need your help to make their film HAUNTED a reality.   "The conception of the script developed out of our desire to create a unique “found footage” horror film that didn’t pander to the audience or rely on standard found footage gimmicks, but with a unique "hook" that makes it stand out from the pack. We’re well aware that the “found footage” sub-genre of horror films has become, for lack of a better phrase, played out, with criticism being lobbied at the ultra-cheap method of filmmaking by fans and critics alike." What started out as a simple discussion about the quality of Paranormal Activity, the three have collaborated to essentially show us what the film SHOULD have been.  Yes, these three ambitious individuals are promising to one-up one of the biggest horror franchises of the last five years. The filmmakers stated With your help, the creators are planning on completely fan funding this project.  If funded, every last red cent will go into the production of this film.

You can check out the “official” website for the film at http://www.haunted-movie.info for updates on the film’s production. 

Questions concerning the film and its production can be directed to hauntedmovie2@gmail.com

This project will only be funded if at least $35,000 is pledged by Friday Mar 16, 6:54pm EDT. 

Visit HAUNTED's kickstarter page
HERE

TI WEST: A GOD AMONG MEN

This is about to turn into an extremely eloquent fangirl rant, and I have absolutely no shame in admitting that.  Let me get the carnal responses out of the way so I can really divulge into why I'm so obsessed with him at the moment. I would have Ti West's babies and gladly enjoy the process of making them.  Now that I've gotten that out of my system. LET US BEGIN. 

A few years ago, I got my grubby little paws on a film called The Roost.  I found it to be not without its problems, but a fantastic throwback to the horror films of yesteryear.  It was shot on a low budget, but gave off a delightful indie feeling and in all honesty, was a damn entertaining movie.  For a young director, I'd have to say I was rather impressed.  It was 2009, however that put Ti West on the map as a horror director that is a force to be reckoned with.  The House of the Devil is a near perfect film.  Now before anyone tries to shout about the slow pacing or how nothing crazy happens until the ending, I'd kindly like you to take a step back and go watch films from the early eighties and bite me.  Ti West completely encompassed the look, feel, and probably even the taste of how truly terrifying horror movies were meant to be made.  He has a keen eye for style and I find him to be an expert at pacing.  While the payoff wasn't until the ending, the film was always entertaining, thrilling, and interesting to watch.  He has a unique writing style and developed characters that were always authentic and easy to relate to.  The film took the underground horror film by storm and it has every right to.  It's a gorgeous film and a great thrill ride.  He created a film at the age of 31 with a quality that most directors twice his age have failed to produce.

Last night, I finally saw The Innkeepers.  Ti West has truly done it again.  This isn't going to be a review, so I'll hold my tongue about plot points.  I swear to Cthulhu, this man can make a damn movie.  The thing I appreciate the most about his film making, is his grasp of aesthetics.  His films are all remarkably appealing to the eye and if there's ever a moment that feels "dull" or "slow" there is always something beautiful about the setting to distract you.  I honestly didn't find a single moment of this film to be dull or slow, but I am also a person who craves "slow-burn" horror films.  Ti West is a master at pacing, and this film was no exception.  To enforce even more about his eye for beauty, his one-sheets for his films are incredible.  Both The House of the Devil and The Innkeepers were placed #1 on "best posters of the year" on countless horror websites.  Why?  Because they're perfect.  They all look the way posters are supposed to look.  They're intriguing, but they're works of art.  You know you've created a quality advertisement piece when someone would be willing to put it on the wall in a frame without ever seeing the film.  That's how I felt with both of his recent films, and I know I'm not the only one in thinking that. 

Most importantly, Ti West is an incredible person because of the way his mind works.  Recently, he released an open letter to the world explaining why we shouldn't pirate movies.  It reads as follows:

Dear Internet,

This Friday (Dec 30th) my film THE INNKEEPERS will be released on VOD an entire month before it's released in theaters (Feb 3rd). This means it will likely hit the Internet torrent sites within 24 hours and seed thousands of downloads in the coming days.

WHY I THINK YOU SHOULD PAY FOR INDEPENDENT MOVIES. It's not the money. Personally I don't care about the money. As sad as it is to admit it's very unlikely I will make a dime off of the release of the film. My previous film, "The House of the Devil," had a similar release and was very successful - That was in 2009, and to this day I have made ZERO dollars off of its success. I do not own the films, and by the time any profits would trickle down to little old me (writer/director/editor/producer) they would all have been mysteriously soaked up into vague expenses, random fees and outrageous overages. This is the nature of the business and I have come to accept it. As long as I don't own my films - something I give up in exchange for someone with much deeper pockets affording me the budgets to make them - this is how it goes. It's a trade off and I'm fine with it. I don't really care. What I do care about, however, is your support. I care very much about that.

Every time you purchase something you are making a statement. You are creating physical evidence that something has value. If something has a high value, then it becomes in high demand. So if you make a concerted effort to support lesser-known, interesting and esoteric things (Art?) then you are helping make those lesser-known things more popular. I'm sure we can all agree that there are incredible movies made every year that never get the attention they deserve - That's not the movies' fault. That is our collective fault for not being proactive enough to GO OUT OF OUR WAY to support them.

So yes, I want you to go out of your way and pay for my movie. Not because I'm greedy, but because if the movie makes money (whomever for) that's tangible evidence of a paying audience out there for movies like mine. For independent films. For something different. Not just bland remakes/sequels or live action versions of comic books/cartoons/boardgames. This is a powerful time for the consumer. With a small platform release like ours (VOD/Theatrical), it's been made incredibly easy for you to support the film...You don't even have to get out of bed.

I do personally benefit from you paying for my film. So do my friends and collaborators. Maybe not in a direct, financial way; but in the gaining of support from consumer/fans whose collective interest convinces rich people to keep giving us budgets (hopefully bigger ones) for the types of movies we make. These investors only do this based on the accountable value of a movie. Not the content. Hopefully everyone knows that by now, but maybe there are still a few ideological people out there reading this who think movies get financed because they are simply great stories worth being told no matter what their commercial appeal. Unfortunately, with very few exceptions...They don't.

How about this: If you went into a store and there were two similar products - one made by hand by someone local who you knew (perhaps a small business in the USA?) and the other just churned out by a machine (perhaps not in the USA?) - wouldn't you pay a tiny bit more for the one made by the person you knew? Especially if you knew it was actually benefitting that person? Wouldn't that be better than supporting the machine-made, impersonal, uninspired version? Wouldn't you want to support them?

Where we choose to spend our money should reflect what matters to us and what we want to support. If independent film matters to you, then do me a solid and pay for the film instead of downloading it. It's not a huge financial commitment, but it has a huge financial impact. I am not a corporation, I am not independently wealthy, I don't come from a family of the industry...I'm just a regular dude who made a movie and wants to keep on making them. I can't do that without your help, and it would be very much appreciated.

Lastly, if you live in a city where the film is being released theatrically, please go see it in the theater. It took over a year to meticulously craft the film with the intent of it being seen projected on 35mm on a big screen with loud surround sound. This was all done for your benefit. It is meant to be seen in a theater - It is after all...A movie.

Sincerely,

Ti 

I'm sorry. What the hell is there not to like about the guy?  Ti West, get down with your bad self.  Continue making movies for the rest of your life, because you are one of the few directors out there that actually understands how to make not just a movie, but a piece of art that will stand the test of time and CGI.   

CHICAGO FEAR FEST: THE SECOND CITY'S NEWEST HORROR EXTRAVAGANZA

WHAT: CHICAGO’s newest indie horror film fest announces a call for entries! CHICAGO FEAR FEST

WHEN: APRIL 13-14, 2012

WHERE: MUVICO THEATERS ROSEMONT 18     ROSEMONT, IL
www.chicagofearfest.com

 

If there is one thing I've learned from my short time dabbling in the horror blogosphere, it's that Chicago is slowly but surely climbing up the ranks to becoming one of the strongest epicenters for all things horror.  Chicago may be known as the “Second City”, but Chicago-based Horror Enterprises Flashback Weekend (Horror Conventions & Drive-In Film Fests), Horror Society (web based horror news & Horror film fests), Sinister Visions (horror website & graphic design), and Zombie Army Productions (Haunted House design & film production), are working to establish Chicago as the 1st city of Horror!

April 13th and 14th 2012, the four premiere Chicago horror groups and the Muvico Theaters are presenting us with CHICAGO FEAR FEST.  It will be a two day indie horror film festival with selections screened at quite possibly the most beautiful theater in the Chicagoland area, The Muvico Theaters Rosemont 18 in Rosemont, IL.

CHICAGO FEAR FEST will showcase the very best in cutting edge independent horror films. The lineup will include short films, feature films, celebrity guests, panel discussions, and Q & A’s. Festival after-parties will be held in Bogart’s, a full service bar and grill located on the second floor of the Muvico Theaters Rosemont 18.

Films will be judged based in 3 different categories: Best Feature, Best Short and Audience Favorite. The winning director of each category will be invited to appear as a featured celebrity guest at the Flashback Weekend Chicago Horror Convention to be held August 10-12, 2012 in Rosemont, IL.

CHICAGO FEAR FEST will be a celebration of the art of indie horror film making by encouraging and supporting independent filmmakers from around the world. CHICAGO FEAR FEST and Muvico Theaters are committed to promoting excellence in independent filmmaking by fostering a community of filmmakers and encouraging an appreciation of independent film.

They accepting film submissions from horror filmmakers NOW! This is your chance to get your film screened in Chicago in front of an audience of high profile media, film critics, film-making industry professionals, and horror fans!  This is going to be an experience unlike any other and you can bet your ass that I will be hauling myself from school to attend this.  No doubt about it.

If you're interested in submitting a film, you can submit by visiting

http://chicagofearfest.com/submissions/

Your film submission must be received no later than March 30th, 2012. No late entries.

For more information about the festival and for film submission, please visit their website at WWW.CHICAGOFEARFEST.COM and follow them on facebook and twitter!!

SUPPORT THE FUTURE OF CHICAGO FILMMAKING: 'THE OCTOBER CRISIS' BY MARC WILKINSON

Hailing from the Illinois River Valley, Marc Wilkinson is a film student at Columbia College, beginning his senior year.  With a lifelong love affair with filmmaking, Marc has been making his own dramatic shorts since 2006, along with viral videos, music videos and commercials. His short film Sardines premiered at the Illinois International Film Festival last year, but the last several years have been spent directing shorts, writing features, and crewing on advanced project. Marc's next project is a short film entitled The October Crisis.  Once completed, he will be taking the short with him to L.A. in hopes of turning it into a feature film.  While Marc isn't creating a horror film, he has shown promise in his film making and is more than deserving to earn a featured spot here at Day of the Woman.  I was able to find out first hand what this film is hoping to convey, and I must admit...I'm excited for it.

"The October Crisis" was created first by deciding on a theme, as all my work is. While listening to the song "The Last Lost Continent" by La Dispute, I began wondering what drives a person to want to kill, and not only kill, but kill passionately. From my observation of the world, I often see the root of this to be differences in personal belief - belief without logic or reason. But I didn't see religion as the problem - I saw people taking their beliefs to the extreme as the issue. So I started crafting this film about what happens when you let what you believe about a situation convince you to act violently, with religion as the setting. This turned into my feature screenplay, "The October Crisis". From there, I decided the best way to eventually get the feature made would be to shoot a part of it to show - but I didn't jsut want a scene or an opening. So I retailer ed some of the films core moments into a 12 page short that gives us the characters, the messege, and the tone in a self contained story that doesn't give away the overall plot or climax of its feature counterpart.-Marc Wilkinson

Help support Marc Wilkinson and The October Crisis by visiting their indiegogo page

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MAC ELDRIDGE'S BLOOD ON THE PLAIN NEEDS YOUR HELP

It was a little more than a year ago when I first featured a review and did some of my best promotional work through the blogging community for a short film entitled Chemical 12-D. The short film that could seemed to explode throughout the horror community and the blogosphere could not stop fawning over such an aesthetically pleasing zombie short with barely any dialogue, but a killer storyline.  Now, a year later, Mac Eldridge and his crew needs our help.  I recently contacted Mac asking if he'd like to send a message to all of you out there in DotW land, and this is what he had to say

"I was honored a bit over a year ago when BJ and her blog reviewed a short film of mine, Chemical 12-D.   The review was kind to the film, and from there, the short propelled itself in the blogging world and also in the festival circuit.  It was because of her first review that Chemical 12-D was written up so well from websites and blogs across the board and now I am here because of my next project, Blood on the Plain.  Unlike 12-D, BotP is a mixture of genres between western and horror, and is also a short film for the feature we plan to make.  We have already shot one weekend and have come out with some incredible footage, and now we're in process of raising $5,000 to shoot the final weekend- the big horror scene.  What I'm asking for now is your help.  The horror community has been extremely receptive of me and my work, and I want to give everyone an even better project, but I need your support to do so. The producers and I wanted to tell you that we're offering percentage points if anyone is interested in owning a percentage of the film.  Basically, 100 bucks get you a half percent of the short film.  Once the film makes money, the investors are the first to get their money back (its guaranteed by me).  From there, they make a half percent after they are paid back in full.  That also includes if the short gets sold to make a feature. If you are interested in making a larger donation (and want to talk logistics) please feel free to contact BJ so we can get in touch"

-Mac Eldridge

ALRIGHT, YOU HEARD HIM.

HELP OUT WATER COOLER PRODUCTIONS BY DONATING TO THEIR INDIE GOGO PAGE

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NIGHTMARE ALLEY: AN ANTHOLOGY OF AWFULSAUCE

If you've been a longtime reader of Day of the Woman, you should know that BJ-C is quite the indie film lover.  I'm a firm believer that a budget does not determine a film and a body count isn't a measurement of horror.  With that being said, I LOVE low budget, awful horror movies.  I'm a total gorehound and am always the girl in the back of the theatre laughing at the dismemberment instead of huddling under my seat.  I'm one of the biggest supporters of indie films and I have a strict policy on Day of the Woman to never turn down an indie film regardless of backing or not.  HOWEVER-I will not spoon feed less than stellar films to my readers...because that's just rude.  Your mom didn't give you hot-wet garbage for dinner, and I won't either. Not that long ago, I wrote a piece over at The Blood Sprayer about the differences between a campy film and a crappy film.  I gave many examples of GOOD campy films, but didn't focus too much on BAD campy films.  I've been avoiding reviewing this film for a while after the debacle that occurred over at Planet of Terror between good pal Cortez the Killer and some "Anonymous" fanboy, as well as the tirade the director went on over at The Blood Sprayer...but after hearing it is going to be reviewed in Rue-Morgue magazine, I have to bite the bullet, accept the possibility of being e-harassed, and deliver everyone an old fashioned rant.

Nightmare Alley is quite possibly the WORST film I have ever seen.  I didn't request Nightmare Alley to be sent to me, but after hearing so much smack talk about it, I took the initiative to develop my own opinion of the film.  Now the people behind this toasted shit sandwich did quite the job at slapping on a pretty outfit and whoring this piece of trash all over the proverbial corners of the horror blogosphere.  If you're wondering why I'm taking such a harsh tone in describing this film, understand that my tact checked out the door after the producer stalkingly attacked two of my dearest horror chums in defense of this shitstorm.  On that side note, I would gently like to direct your attention to a little guide a wrote specifically for indie filmmakers.    I digress,  Nightmare Alley was clearly an attempt at the "so bad it's good" style of filmmaking that only a true horror fan can appreciate.  I commend any filmmaker for attempting to create a film in this sort of style for it is next to impossible to successfully execute it.  There is a very fine line between so bad it's good and downright bad.  Nightmare Alley didn't just fall off the tight-rope, it took a flying swan dive through a ring of fire and splattered on the pavement before the audience vomited all over the result in protest.

The film is broken apart into 8 stories (much like a Creepshow film...but amateur at best with 5th grade Halloween party special fx) which I found to be the biggest problem with the entire film.  With this many stories, it's difficult for the viewer to develop a connection with any of the characters or appreciate any of the humor.  The stories are unoriginal to say the least and poorly written. I'm sorry, but I've seen better and scarier episodes of Goosebumps.  I agree with my comrades in saying if the film concentrated on three to four of the episodes (much like Trick 'R Treat) this would have vastly improved the film.  Unfortunately, we do not live in a world of "what ifs" and we are instead left with a piss-poor excuse for a horror anthology and 88 minutes of our lives that could have been better spent counting white rice from behind a sneeze guard at Panda Express.  

Not far behind the storyline, the special fx look like something out of a junior high haunted house.  Let me write this as boldly and as obviously as I possibly can for all of those out there who want to cry "low budget hater" at me.  A LOW BUDGET HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BAD FX.  I've been a huge promoter of Indymogul.com's Backyard FX as they have shown the world how to create quality horror FX while sticking it to the recession.  This film obviously doesn't know how to work their way around the googler, as everything looked AWFUL.  I'm not even talking Dead Alive big and brutally awful, I mean "I was four seconds away from leaving the price tag on my prop leg" awful.  The makers also have absolutely ZERO comprehension as to how to even use a damn camera.  Say it with me: FOCUS.  For the love of God, you'd think they used cotton balls as a lens filter for half the movie.  Shit, I've seen Senior Photos that look edgier and classier than this film.  That and they obviously borrowed the subway lights from Adventures in Babysitting to try and illuminate their fail-whale of a film.

Nightmare Alley definitely has it's heart in the right place, but it just didn't work.  Passion for the genre, doesn't automatically make a good movie.  Need a better example?  Look at M. Night Shyamalan.  You're welcome.  This film tries to get away with it's poor film making by claiming to be a low-budget thrill ride, but it's nothing more than a shit sandwich dipped in hobo sweat that is clawing at it's low budget as a way to excuse it's glaring flaws and instead be as cheesy and terrible as humanly possible.  I assume the people involved had a good time making this travesty, but no one else is in on the joke.  Their heart was in the right place, I really got what they were going for...but there was just no finish line at this 8 legged race.

I think The Liberal Dead said it best and for that, I have to steal their words. "Honestly it felt like a group of twelve year olds who had just discovered punk rock and indie horror went to their local Target with 30$, wrote up a brief script with crayons, then proceeded to steal mom and dad’s camcorder for an afternoon of goofing off with Halloween supplies for laughs."

I couldn't have said it better myself.